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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29106222">Playing With an Open Hand</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActuallyRandomPerson/pseuds/ActuallyRandomPerson'>ActuallyRandomPerson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>things that spawn from the drabbles [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Asexuality, Developing Castiel/Dean Winchester, Developing Relationship, Discussion of Open Relationship, M/M, New Relationship, Open Relationships, Relationship Discussions, Relationship Negotiation, ace!cas, basically me projecting for 1k</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:14:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29106222</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActuallyRandomPerson/pseuds/ActuallyRandomPerson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas and Dean have confessed their feelings. Metaphorical fireworks are exploding, the curtains are closing, they can get onto their happily ever after now, right?<br/>Well, not immediately. First, some things need to be discussed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>things that spawn from the drabbles [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117403</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Playing With an Open Hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, this is literally <i>entirely</i> based on how I plan to handle any serious relationships I have with a non-ace individual. However, I've never actually been <i>in</i> said serious relationship, so hopefully I didn't fuck anything up due to said lack of experience. At least it can be assumed Cas has a similar lack of relationship negotiating experience??<br/>Friendly note to peeps not here from my drabble fic, I'm currently sitting at halfway through s3 of this show so this is set at a handwavey random point in the series lol. Ignore anything that goes against canon.<br/>also I'm probably too proud of that title dkzsfhszlsfj</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Dean, I… will not be able to provide sexual-intimacy to you if we choose to pursue this relationship. I feel I must be clear about that before you commit yourself to me more than you already have.”</p><p>Dean froze, taken aback. Clearly, he hadn’t been expecting <em>those </em>to be the first words out of Cas’ mouth after the angel pulled back from their first kiss, especially given they’d only just gotten through the whole ‘grand declarations of love’ thing.</p><p>“Like… never ever? Is it an angel thing? Or is it because I’m, well… <em>me.</em>”</p><p>“It’s not anything to do with you, Dean! It’s just not a level of intimacy I personally enjoy, no matter who it is I am in bed with. Whether or not it’s an angel thing, I couldn’t tell you, but I do know Gabriel certainly seemed to have no qualms about engaging in that sort of thing on a regular basis.”</p><p>“So, you just… don’t like sex?”</p><p>Cas smiled lightly.</p><p>“It simply doesn’t do it for me.”</p><p>Dean shifted his weight back till he was mostly resting on his heels.</p><p>“Huh.”</p><p>“Huh indeed.”</p><p>“But you still- <em>you’re </em>still… in me?”</p><p>“Romantic attraction and sexual attraction aren’t intrinsically linked, Dean. I still care about you very much, and would like to pursue a relationship with you if, you’re, well, comfortable with it. Or <em>without</em> <em><span class="u">it</span>,</em> as the case may be.”</p><p>Dean grinned ruefully.</p><p>“Well, Cas, I’ve committed my heart to you pretty fully already, so I guess I’ll just have to adjust. Uh. Boundaries?”</p><p>“I’m good with all non-sexual intimacy, or at least all forms of it I have experienced thus far. Kissing is okay, but not on areas that are considered overly sexual. Any further than that makes me… uncomfortable. I will, of course, tell you if any of these boundaries change, or if you do something that I didn’t realise was something I’d react badly to.”</p><p>“I’ll try to respect all that, but sorry if I slip up sometimes or accidentally push a boundary you’re not comfortable with. All my past relationships have at least started out fairly sexual, and I may drift into instinctive patterns without realising. You are fully allowed to cut my hands off if I push too far into ‘sexual’ territory without meaning to.”</p><p>“I understand that, Dean, and I trust you’ll endeavour to respect the barriers I have placed. For what it’s worth, I am open to you seeking sexual intimacy elsewhere if you need it.”</p><p>“What, with other people? I’m not gonna cheat on you just because I miss fucking people, Cas!”</p><p>“I’m not talking about you <em>cheating</em> on me, Dean, I’m talking about you pursuing sexual encounters with my <em>knowing consent</em>. An open relationship.”</p><p>“Aren’t <em>both</em> parties usually having sex with other people in open relationships?”</p><p>“In the most common form of them, yes, but it is not the only way one can have an open relationship. Usually, they are formed that way to keep it equal between parties, so that one individual isn’t straying sexually while the other is entirely monogamous, but an arrangement such as the one I am suggesting isn’t unheard of in relationships involving only one asexual individual.”</p><p>Dean reached forwards and grasped one of Castiel’s hands, the two of them having migrated slightly apart for the serious conversation.</p><p>“I just… I don’t want you to think you’re not enough, exactly the way you are. You’re- you’re my <em>everything</em> Cas, and I want you in every way you’ll have me. I don’t mind if sex isn’t one of those ways.”</p><p>Cas smiled back softly and squeezed Dean’s hand.</p><p>“I don’t think I’m ‘not enough’, Dean. I know that there’s nothing broken within me despite my lack of interest in sex, and I know you’d happily give it up if it was the only way to have me. But I don’t <em>want</em> you to have to give it up, not if you don’t want to. If it would make you feel too uncomfortable, even only as an occasional thing, that is also entirely valid, as this is about <em>you</em> and you being as happy as you can be. But if you do desire sexual intercourse alongside your romantic relationship with me, then I am okay with you occasionally pursuing it as long as you are safe about everything and communicate clearly with me what you are doing and where you are going.”</p><p>Dean took a deep breath in.</p><p>“Look, can I… think on it for a while? Not- not our relationship! I’m fully committed to that- to <em>you.</em> I just… need to consider everything else for a while.”</p><p>Cas tugged Dean closer to drop a kiss on his cheek and envelope him in a gentle hug.</p><p>“<em>Of course, </em>Dean. And I won’t think you’re somehow limiting yourself if you decide an arrangement such as the one I suggested isn’t something you’re comfortable with. I just wanted you to know the option is there, and what you decide is entirely down to you and your own feelings on how you want to handle sexual intimacy, whether you would be perfectly content relying on self-stimulation or if you would occasionally prefer someone to help you out.”</p><p>“And if I make a decision and later my feelings on it change…?”</p><p>“Then you can come to me and we can renegotiate things, and I will not judge you. We can’t always perceive how we will handle certain situations, or how we will react when faced with the reality of our decisions. If you choose to pursue an open relationship, we will maintain an open line of communication-related to it and you could bring up any concerns you have with me, just as I could with you. If you do not, but later realise you miss sexual intercourse more than you thought you would, I would not begrudge you for not realising how that would affect you sooner, especially as we are having this conversation at the very beginning of our relationship.”</p><p>Dean’s arms tightened around Cas waist, and he pressed a gentle kiss to the angel’s lips.</p><p>“I… I love you, Cas. I know we’ve only just gotten our shit together, and in normal relationship terms this is <em>way</em> too fuckin soon, but. I want you to know that. And… thank you.”</p><p>“I love you too, Dean. Every fibre of your being. I have since the first moment I found you in Hell, even if I couldn’t recognise it at the time. And thank <em>you</em>, Dean. For accepting me as I am.”</p><p>“Od course I do, Cas! Like I said earlier. You’re my everything. I want you exactly the way you are, asexuality and all.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I left dean's decision ambiguous because I figure y'all can make a call on what you think he'd decide based on where you place this in ur mental timeline or headcanons lol. I genuinely don't know if he'd go for an open relationship or not, or if he'd change his mind later. Imagine whatever feels right to you 😄<br/>if u kudos or comment I will literally owe you my lifeblood fsjfkjgsakfl</p></blockquote></div></div>
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